Pride & Prejudice

It is parents' pride to have their child excel in exams but at the same time being angry at a child who doesn't perform to expectations is stemmed from prejudice toward those who fail...perhaps fear of it. Today we felt the impact of this when our eldest received results that was not expected (I didn't expect anything but as long as he does well enough). I went to his school to give him moral support and when his name was not called as a recepient of 5As I knew he needed it. I went to look for him amidst the chaos of students pushing eagerly to get their results from the class teachers. Finally I saw this "small" body in the middle of mayhem squatting down, looking desolate and crying uncontrollably. I knew then that being angry at whatever results he got would be cruel. I went to him hugged and calmed him but his tears kept pouring, disappointed! At that moment, I knew that he was frustrated enough for the two of us. So instead of rubbing salt to the wound, I tried to emphatize. My baby was experiencing his very first failure (in the eyes of "society") and heartache. After my son had somehow calmed down he joined other friends who were equally disappointed with their results and he started crying in unison to his mates. One of his friends even looked so forlorn that I feared that he may do something drastic. So I gathered them (and hugged some of them assuring them that there is a wide, wide world out there still waiting for them and that feelings of disappointment, frustration and failure would litter the road to success. I was astounded too at how detached the teachers were, some were uncomfortable to comfort the students who needed it the most..all that was said was ..it's okay there's always PMR. What's wrong with these people??? Are our children just measured by how well they perform in exams? We need to change this prejudice..don't just take pride in success but also let our children learn from failure..no matter how we measure it (for me my son's results was an achievement but for the teachers & society at large, anything other than 5As is not) because the learning is more essential than the results..and I'm not just talking about learning within the 4 walls of a classroom. Let our children explore their potential, let us guide them to the right path, then let them choose their paths in life (insyallah they will choose well) for that is the true meaning of learning. C'est la vie!!!!

Maid of Honour

Handsome, handsomer, handsomest, drop-dead handsome...which????

Syawal has just passed...with its open house, scrumptious food and girdle-busting temptations (am not just talking about food). Now noses should be back to the grindstone not only to lose the inches lost during Ramadahan and double-gained during Syawal but also with my thesis. Started reading after two weeks of just letting the dust collect on my articles and laptop. Talking about Syawal, it's the usual exodus back to the hometown (hubby's parents have passed so it's back to Newcastle every year). The usual cooking and gathering on Raya night complete with the constant background sound of my mother telling me, my sisters, my maid or her grandchildren how to do things around the house...well mom without her "siren' would not be complete and Raya without mom would be silent.





My sister was rather melancholic this year. This was the first year of Raya without her husband who passed away in an accident in front of their house in July. Although she is much stronger, she still feels the missing. I can't begin to imagine how it feels like. All I can decipher is the longing and unspoken sadness in her eyes. So this Raya was more gentle and less chaotic than the previous years (even the "siren") as a tribute to my late brother-in-law, though a quiet man, whose abscence is felt profoundly by our family.





Then the maid...this year it's the fifth year she has celebrated with us and has become a part of the family (although she's really "scared" of my husband...no he has not done anything, just doesn't speak that much with her). Her maid friends keep calling and texting her asking her about her Raya money. I told her not to tell anyone anything and she hasn't. Why am I talking about my maid? Basically because alhamdulillah our rezeki with this maid has been good. She has been with us even before Baby was born and I hope she'll remain until he is old..he...he. My friend hasn't had such luck. In the time my maid has been with me she has had 4/5. One was ill, another was psychotic, the third wanted to get married, the fourth just stayed for 2 months and the latest has a "BIG" head. I told her to write a book about maids once she completes her PhD..he..he..If you hear some of her stories it's funny but scary at the same time. I told her yesterday..maybe you've not met "your jodoh" in terms of maid. I'm sure at times she feels like quitting her job to take care of the children. But like me without the mental stimulation of work and deadlines, we'd be "tortured souls". That's why I'm thankful for the "rezeki" Allah has bestowed upon my family and I in "sending" us this maid of honour. Even if she changes..she has done her part real well and I'm thankful.