Ramadhan is here once more

"Ku berharap kan Ramadhan tahun ini penuh makna"



....these are the words sang by Man Bai. He couldn't have said it more aptly. Each time this glorious month comes I would promise that this year's would be better than the previous year's - in terms of less wastage, more patience, better food and most importantly "ibadah yang khusyuk dan tulus". Each year I would reflect and find the last one most difficult to achieve because I always feel that I have not tried my best. It's still early this year so I vow to strive for my best...I MUST.



Buka puasa this year is different..My eldest is not here. Irfan is at his hostel getting fried food almost everyday for buka & sahur. When it comes to food I always miss my Irfan because he really appreciates it. Not that he eats a lot now but he appreciates anything that I cook and that gives me inspiration to cook. Mimal is not an eater...for him spinach soup and fried chicken is sufficient. Ayyum is an eater but he has not started fasting. So buka puasa this year is not as "meriah" as in previous years...sob....sob.


My mum is not fasting this year. Her cancer medication does not give her the strength to fast. We, my sisters and I, said it's okay since she is unwell. But she feels cheated of the experience. I said the fact that she can eat anything at all in her condition is "satu rahmat". This is not a time to lament for what ifs or if only I could do this .....I told her. It is a time for her to concentrate on her other "ibadah" and ask Almighty Allah to grant her reprieve from pain and suffering and thank HIM for the life that you have led as well as ask for forgiveness for all the sins that have been erred. She is calmer when I say it in this way to her. I have accepted her condition and Allah's fate for her and for us her children. The best I can do for her is - apart from getting the best doctors & medication - is to be there when she needs it and to pray for her constantly, insyallah.


HAVE A GLORIOUS & MEANINGFUL RAMADHAN... I hope to have one too, insyallah